Body Image Shenanigans

With all the attention on women who are having babies; you'd think women were being celebrated for possessing a body capable of such miraculous experiences and adventures... but no!
Women are being criticized, compared, and lashed out at only hours after emerging from hidden doors with their new baby in arms. Say whaaat?

Who is criticizing these women; well, women! Media critics and sometimes men.

Not only is there pressure on the women having children; there is pressure building up on every single female walking the planet and its starting to impact young girls more than ever. The worst part of this situation is that women attack women more than men do. Men are not standing around in their office cubicles discussing women's cellulite and wrinkles. Men are not comparing skinny-fat girls to fit and toned girls. No, it's sad but true - - - women are the guilty ones here more so than anyone else (other than media) sigh!

So before I sound off about how destructive women are to other women, let me first say that there are fabulous women out there. Somewhere? As for men, there are some terrific men out there as well! The media, well as great as some reporters are - negativity sells, so do airbrushed and overly edited photos of celebrities.

Now, time to break down the body image shenanigans - focusing solely on why people judge other peoples bodies in the first place. The thing that stands out the most for me is body bashing alleviates the pain or insecurities that the bashers are hiding in their own lives. It's a unique class of bullies all in itself, really. There is growing concern of the amount of pressure put on women in general - whether they have delivered children or not. The sounds of it goes something like this, "did you see her stretch marks?, whoa - she gained a tonne of weight, how can she be comfortable being that big, oh, she is skinny-fat, etc." It becomes everyday chit chat and frankly, it's bullshit! When I reclaimed my self-esteem the body bashing syndrome I had slowly went away. No longer defending my size, shape or sexuality was the most liberating event in my life to date. How can women guard themselves against this disease? Well, first things first - support other women and stop reading into the messages sent out via the media. Stop associating with people who use language (like: fat, chunky, gross) to hurt your feelings. Recognize the source and hold the bully accountable. When you refuse to tolerate the suggestions of where your body could improve you cut the chain that ties you to this nonsense. You also empower yourself and other women when you are comfortable in your skin - and accepting of your body the way it is now. This does not mean you absolutely love your body - it means you refuse to be bullied about your body.

When people tell me they are happy with their bodies yet put down other peoples' I hold them accountable and help them get clear about their own issues. When you are comfortable in your own skin the need to speak ill of another vanishes. True story! When we get real with ourselves about our own insecurities we get a good kick in the ass to focus on self-improvement and not gang up on others. Time consumed on depicting another person's diet and workout regime is distasteful and a drag. Celebrate differences, accept yourself and praise the qualities that make you the fabulous woman that you are. Does cellulite, stretch marks, acne, varicose veins, or abs covered with an extra layer of warmth really matter? Does it (for real, I want to know?)

Why, as a society have we tolerated body image bashing? We are probably the hardest on ourselves (if we get real about this topic), but truly, what is the attraction to comparing bodies, commenting on bodies and refusing to celebrate the miraculous wonders of the female body. [It's become an addiction for some] Body-shaming in its rawest form has become a frequent and customized convo had between women, men, media and the thoughts take up a lot of time in our own heads. How do we break the cycle and reclaim healthy body image as a collective force to be reckoned with? (How will you be an up-stander rather than a by-stander?) You can be a part of the solution and not the problem. Own your body - the way it is right now. Once you validate that your job is not to be visually appealing to every other person you cut the tie that binds. You are free to branch out and focus on becoming the best you that you can possibly be. Developing a healthy body image is life-changing. What are you waiting for? You deserve to love yourself - all of you. Regardless of what you may view as blessings or imperfections; take a deep breath and accept what you see in the mirror. We have to break the conditioning and temptation to self-shame and while doing so break the shaming of others. After all, don't we all desire freedom of body image pressures (self-imposed or not).

Back to my initial rant regarding the unacceptable and insane pressures on women to appear toned, with flat abdominals and perky breasts immediately after giving birth; who came up with this? Seriously, I want to know who. Whoever came up with this idea must relearn etiquette amongst other things. It's our job as women to stand up and say no more! We do not have to treat ourselves this way nor do we have to conform to the inappropriate expectations put on us by airbrushed photos and edited images which raise the bar of body image to an unreasonable and usually unattainable height.

Reclaim your power today. Be gentle with yourselves and have empathy and compassion for others. Period.