Introductions--sticking
out one's hand and looking another person in the eye--can be
terrifying. The brain locks up as you scramble to think of something
relevant to say. You fall apart as soon as you're asked what you do for a
living. You stammer. The heat rises in your face and under your arms.
You're suddenly incapable of forming a grammatical sentence. You think
to yourself, "Why would anyone care about me? I'm really not that
interesting!"
Fear
not. Many shy people have succeeded in meeting new people and forming
lasting, happy relationships. With a little practice, you can too. Here
are some tips for taming your social terror:
1.
Prepare a pitch. The question, "So, Sally, what do you do for a
living?" is bound to come up, so have a ready answer. No need to brag
about capturing the company Tidy Break room Award; just state clearly
what you do for a living and don't apologize for it!
2.
Ask questions. People love to talk about themselves (okay, except for
people like you), so ask questions. Come up with a list before you leave
the house, i.e., How did you get into that line of work? Where did you
go to school? Have you seen the new Brad Pitt movie? And so on.
3.
When you fumble, turn the subject to the other person. Whenever you
find yourself longing to throw a blanket over your head and crawl off,
try saying something like "And what about you?"
4.
Listen to what the other person is saying! This is important. Instead
of fretting about what you'll say next, still the wheels of your mind
and listen. If a man tells you about his weekend on the golf course, and
you know absolutely nothing about golf, just ask him what he likes
about it, how he got into it, etc.
5.
Smile. People respond well to people who smile. No need to grin like an
idiot, but a disarming smile will get 'em every time. Smiling conveys
friendliness and approachability. Show teeth whenever possible. Avoid
looking like a figure at a wax museum by practicing in a mirror before
you leave the house.
6.
Breathe. Whenever you feel your heart racing, breathe deeply and
slowly. If you really start to feel uncomfortable (your face has become
so hot you could use it for a wok), excuse yourself and go to the
restroom.
7.
Compliment the other person. Sincerity is key, so find something you
like and mention it. You may be freaked out by the idea of complimenting
a man on his soulful eyes, so mention his watch, suit, tie, or even his
shoes. No need to go overboard: "Nice shoes," will do it.
8.
Stay on top of current events. You don't necessarily want to bring up
your stand on Bush v. Kerry during a first meeting, but be able to
discuss less controversial issues intelligently.
9.
Remember the weather! Some people have the "gift of gab," the ability
to make strangers feel like they've known them forever. They are
fearless about talking about the weather, gas prices, whatever. Shy
people worry that talking about mundane things will make them appear
stupid. But seemingly dull subjects like the weather affect everybody.
People relate to them.
10.
Hold your head up. It's the simplest, most effective way to look
confident. Good posture, coupled with that fabulous smile of yours,
gives you a "winner's vibe." You're guaranteed to be a hit!
Be
warned: These tips will not help you if you don't leave the house. It's
just too easy to watch a Friends rerun for the umpteenth time instead
of meeting people, but I promise you that Prince Charming is never going
to climb through your bedroom window.
Talking
to strangers can be uncomfortable, but with practice it will surely get
easier. If you have a bad night, congratulate yourself for making the
effort. When you have a good night, understand that you earned it. Know
that countless wonderful nights are on their way to you.
Terry
Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of
Your Dreams (Even if You're Not Rich, Thin, or Beautiful). Please visit
her website at http://www.marrysmart.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/294
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